i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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