I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
