she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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