I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
