Can i not drive my cunt home
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
