Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
