So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
