It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
