this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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