i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
