To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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