Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
