So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
