i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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