The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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