I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
