i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
