Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
