It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
