talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
