I'm drive I can fine osifer
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
