she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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