I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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