i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
