If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
