That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
