What did we do last night that was yellow?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
