Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There r osticjed everywhere
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
