If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it was like eating out sand paper
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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