Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
