Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
