escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
