Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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