I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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