Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
