She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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