We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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