so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
