dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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