You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
