im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
