I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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