I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
