how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
