oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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