I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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