Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
