I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
