I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
