he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
